Thursday, April 26, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Thoughts
Lately, I've been seeing a lot of Facebook posts about how people feel judged or inadequate whenever they walk through church doors. Of course, everywhere we go we WILL face judgment from other people, whether they have a right to judge us or not. And most of the time, THEY HAVE NO RIGHT. But, don't get all worked up and angry just because someone looked at you funny or outright judged your opinion or the way you look. Because sometimes we think people are judging us... When they're really not.
I realized some time ago that a sign of a backslidden heart (or a heart that is not right with God) is feeling like everyone in church is looking down upon them in judgment. I saw a friend go through it but I didn't catch it at the time. She always complained about how people were judging her and looking down on her - but I didn't see it. I thought that she was overreacting. What I thought was an adult trying to help/keep her from getting into a bad situation, she thought was someone trying to condemn her and get on her case about her decisions, which seemed a bit more grown up than a teenage girl could handle. Anyway, I didn't know what to believe. I ended up "siding" with what the adults said... And losing my best friend. I did not agree with the choices she made and when I told her that, she suddenly saw me as one of those judgmental people. My point is, she backslid and one of the major signs was that she suddenly saw every person who disagreed with her choices as someone trying to judge her.
I realized that I became the same way at one point in my life. I had sin in my life... Secret sin. When I went to church, I felt like everyone knew. I felt like everyone could tell what I had done and that they were looking at me in judgment. Suddenly everyone I knew had piercing, judgmental eyes that were tearing me apart, seeing right through me. But no one knew what I had done. So how could they judge me about my sin when they didn't even know what it was, or that I had even done it??? Well, they weren't judging me. I know this because as soon as I repented to GOD (not a person), the scary eyes went away.
So here's what I think: the devil uses this as a strategy to make us fall into sin. He whispers in our ears, "So-and-so is looking at you funny. They totally know what you did last night." or, say you don't have secret sin. Maybe you're just trying to live your life for God but you feel like everyone at your church is looking down on you and judging you. I'm not saying that judgmental people don't exist, but the devil can make it seem like 1 judgmental person is actually 10. I think that he does this to make us become hateful towards others. If he can make us hate the people of God, eventually he can make us hate God.
There is a solution to this - first, repent! Ask God to deal with your heart and show you anything you need to change. Then pray and ask God to help you fight the devil's lies! And also pray against any prejudices that may exist in your church. Pray for GOD to deal with it. Personally, I have a peace in my heart that no matter what people may say about me, God will deal with them. If you absolutely have to, talk to a leader you can trust in your church - and don't lose your trust in people just because they *could possibly* or *might* be judging you. And most of all... Trust God!!! It's in His hands :)
~ Natalie
I realized some time ago that a sign of a backslidden heart (or a heart that is not right with God) is feeling like everyone in church is looking down upon them in judgment. I saw a friend go through it but I didn't catch it at the time. She always complained about how people were judging her and looking down on her - but I didn't see it. I thought that she was overreacting. What I thought was an adult trying to help/keep her from getting into a bad situation, she thought was someone trying to condemn her and get on her case about her decisions, which seemed a bit more grown up than a teenage girl could handle. Anyway, I didn't know what to believe. I ended up "siding" with what the adults said... And losing my best friend. I did not agree with the choices she made and when I told her that, she suddenly saw me as one of those judgmental people. My point is, she backslid and one of the major signs was that she suddenly saw every person who disagreed with her choices as someone trying to judge her.
I realized that I became the same way at one point in my life. I had sin in my life... Secret sin. When I went to church, I felt like everyone knew. I felt like everyone could tell what I had done and that they were looking at me in judgment. Suddenly everyone I knew had piercing, judgmental eyes that were tearing me apart, seeing right through me. But no one knew what I had done. So how could they judge me about my sin when they didn't even know what it was, or that I had even done it??? Well, they weren't judging me. I know this because as soon as I repented to GOD (not a person), the scary eyes went away.
So here's what I think: the devil uses this as a strategy to make us fall into sin. He whispers in our ears, "So-and-so is looking at you funny. They totally know what you did last night." or, say you don't have secret sin. Maybe you're just trying to live your life for God but you feel like everyone at your church is looking down on you and judging you. I'm not saying that judgmental people don't exist, but the devil can make it seem like 1 judgmental person is actually 10. I think that he does this to make us become hateful towards others. If he can make us hate the people of God, eventually he can make us hate God.
There is a solution to this - first, repent! Ask God to deal with your heart and show you anything you need to change. Then pray and ask God to help you fight the devil's lies! And also pray against any prejudices that may exist in your church. Pray for GOD to deal with it. Personally, I have a peace in my heart that no matter what people may say about me, God will deal with them. If you absolutely have to, talk to a leader you can trust in your church - and don't lose your trust in people just because they *could possibly* or *might* be judging you. And most of all... Trust God!!! It's in His hands :)
~ Natalie
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, November 22, 2010
So... I'm not sure what to write today. I think of things all day, but when I finally sit down to write, I have nothing to say.
Well, I should pay more attention to what I say. Just because I think something does not mean I should say it, right? I know the answer to that. Maybe I am lacking this judgement because my frontal lobe is not fully developed. Maybe I say certain thoughts out loud because I have been bottling things up inside. Oh well. This isn't a blog about feelings anyway.
I wrote a play! It is the first play I have ever written. I hope to write more. I've written a scene before, for drama class. Although it is a sappy love story, I think it is really good. I like the play I finished - it is also a love story, but it's more comedic. I've been working on my short stories lately as well. I have yet to finish one, but I have a dream in my head of everything I hope to accomplish in the next few years. I will possibly write about my hopes and dreams some other time...? Haha.
~Natalie
Well, I should pay more attention to what I say. Just because I think something does not mean I should say it, right? I know the answer to that. Maybe I am lacking this judgement because my frontal lobe is not fully developed. Maybe I say certain thoughts out loud because I have been bottling things up inside. Oh well. This isn't a blog about feelings anyway.
I wrote a play! It is the first play I have ever written. I hope to write more. I've written a scene before, for drama class. Although it is a sappy love story, I think it is really good. I like the play I finished - it is also a love story, but it's more comedic. I've been working on my short stories lately as well. I have yet to finish one, but I have a dream in my head of everything I hope to accomplish in the next few years. I will possibly write about my hopes and dreams some other time...? Haha.
~Natalie
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Changes
So... I'm going to graduate earlier than I had planned, which means... I'm not sure when I will ever finish my story. Truthfully, I haven't worked on it at all in quite some time. Right now, I'm writing a play. That's all I'm going to say.
Next semester, I'm going to take 7 classes, including Creative Writing (I'm excited). I'm also planning on playing tennis (I will at least try :P heehee) and looking for a job. I'm thinking Barnes and Noble. I love books. They smell wonderful, most of them are filled with beautiful words, and they are always there to provide an escape to foreign lands and other time periods. In the meantime, I will be working on short stories. My mom has encouraged me to write short stories and send them to magazines to see if I can get published. I have a really good story idea brewing! I started writing it last night. Anyway, the remainder of my junior year will consist of work and possibly some fun (I'm not counting on it). As far as writing a book goes, I'm not exactly putting it off, I'm just considering it as a low priority.
That's all for now.
~Natalie
Next semester, I'm going to take 7 classes, including Creative Writing (I'm excited). I'm also planning on playing tennis (I will at least try :P heehee) and looking for a job. I'm thinking Barnes and Noble. I love books. They smell wonderful, most of them are filled with beautiful words, and they are always there to provide an escape to foreign lands and other time periods. In the meantime, I will be working on short stories. My mom has encouraged me to write short stories and send them to magazines to see if I can get published. I have a really good story idea brewing! I started writing it last night. Anyway, the remainder of my junior year will consist of work and possibly some fun (I'm not counting on it). As far as writing a book goes, I'm not exactly putting it off, I'm just considering it as a low priority.
That's all for now.
~Natalie
Monday, September 6, 2010
Starting Over
Today I decided that I will use my blog to share my writing. I love writing, so I decided that when I write a good essay or story, I will post it here. Sometimes I write about people, but I try not to use real names, unless it is for school. So, don't get mad at me if you see a post about you :). You should feel special anyway heehee. A couple months ago I began writing a story about a skater girl who lives in a broken home, but later gets saved again. I probably won't post that here, but I'll let you follow along with my journey to publishing it! My goal is to publish a book before I graduate high school. I just began my junior year, so the countdown has begun! I better get to work! First, I must finish doing my laundry haha. Thanks for reading :)
Love,
Natalie
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